Giving Good Instructions to Children

Posted by Danny Jensen in Preschool      No comments

Jan
2

Does getting your child to do something feel like an impossible task? One of the reasons may be the way in which you are asking. Children are not necessarily receptive to the types of verbal instruction that we use with our spouse, colleagues or other adults. Instructions for children must be given in a way that they understand. Below are some helpful hints on how to give kids instructions that will make both you and your child more successful.

Get your child’s attention – Make sure that you have your child’s attention before you give a direction. You should be within three feet of your child so you can talk in a normal or calm voice. This helps your child know that you are talking to him/her. You can get your child’s attention by calling his/her name, making eye contact, or turning off the lights.

1. Be clear and concise – Instructions should be short and to the point. The fewer words the better. A good guide is one word per year of life. (ex. Instruction for a two-year-old might be “shoes on”; where a five-year-old might be “go get your shoes on”). If there are too many words, it becomes more difficult for the child to know what is expected. The instruction should also be free of vague words.
2. Give one instruction at a time – Do not give your child a long list of instructions. When you give more than one instruction at one time, your child may forget, not understand, or feel overwhelmed.
3. Be realistic – Give your child instructions that you know he/she can follow. For example, do not expect a 3-year-old to get completely dressed by him/herself.
4. Be positive – Let your child know what you want them to do rather than not to do. When we only describe the negative behavior “don’t run” we still leave many other options available (skipping, hopping, etc.). Telling the child what we want them to do “walk, please.” Does not allow for any other options.
5. Don’t ask, tell – Do not ask your child to do something. Instead, tell your child in a firm but pleasant voice what you want them to do. Do not say “will you go brush your teeth?” To the child this implies that they have a choice. Instead, say “go brush your teeth.”
6. Reward compliance – let your child know that he/she did a good job following the instruction. Praise your child. The more you praise your child the better the chances that he/she will follow directions in the future.

Examples of Good Instructions:

• John, give me the truck.

• Lindsey, go wash your hands.

• Dylan, look at the book.

• Taylor, put three blocks in the bucket.

• Jessie, walk next to me.

Examples of Bad Instructions (Followed by why it is a bad instruction):

- “Be Careful” (Too Vague)

- “Can you put your toys away?” (Don’t ask, tell)

- “Go upstairs, wash your face, brush your teeth and go to bed.” (Too many instructions)

- “Okay, I think it is time for you to go to bed” (Too many words)

- “Don’t run in here.” (Negative and too vague)

- “Stop horsing around!” (Negative and too vague)

- “Can you give the toy to your sister?” (Don’t ask, tell)

- “It is time for you to go upstairs to go to sleep.” (Too many words)

Child Care Challenges – Biting

Posted by Danny Jensen in Gainesville Preschool, Preschool      No comments

Jan
2

How to manage biting behavior in children

Christine Koh, Care.com contributing writer

Parents dread being the parent of the classroom or play group biter, but it happens and is a common developmental phase for many children. Here are some pointers to help parents and caregivers work through the challenge of biting.

1. Remember that the behavior is not uncommon. Biting happens for a number of reasons. Babies and toddlers may bite experimentally (remember, they put everything in their mouths as a means to explore their world), or kids may bite when they feel frustrated, stressed, overstimulated, or powerless.
2. Act immediately, calmly, and consistently. Remove your child from the situation immediately. Stay calm and tell your child that biting is not OK and will never get your child what he/she wants. Be consistent in how you respond to each biting incident. Avoid dramatic negative responses that could cause more stress and frustration and lead to more biting.
3. Teach consequences. Each time your child bites, remind him that there are consequences. Tell them that whenever biting happens, you have to stop playing with toys and friends and go together to a different room to cool down. Talk about the idea that you may not be able to have play dates because it isn’t safe or fun for other children to worry about being bitten.
4. Teach empathy and alternatives. Explain to your child that biting hurts the other child, both physically and emotionally. Ask your child whether it would hurt their feelings and their body to be bitten. Talk about alternative ways for them to express that they need something, such as using words or pointing or drawing a scene or acting out a play. And when your child uses these alternative behaviors, praise them to reinforce the behavior.
5. Comfort the victim. Don’t forget about the child who was bitten. Once you have handled your child, go to the victim and ask they’re OK. Take your child with you when you do this so they can see your empathetic behavior.
6. Evaluate other factors. Think about the factors surrounding biting incidents. If biting occurs when your child is playing with older kids, look into whether your child may feel powerless and picked on, talk to the older children about playing at a level that can include the youngest child. If your child bites due to stress or frustration, think about any recent changes to your routine and think about whether there are ways to smooth over the transitions. If your child always targets a specific child, closely supervise these play dates, or think about what is causing this relation between the two kids. For example, if there has been too much contact between the two children lately, take a break from the play dates.
7. Plan play dates accordingly. If you notice that your child bites when in larger groups, or when hungry, schedule accordingly. Limit play date length and size to prevent overstimulation, make sure there is snack, and keep an eye on your child if it looks like they are starting to melt down.
8. Be mindful of other parents. Don’t be embarrassed. Tell your play date parents that your child is going through a biting phase and ask all parents to keep on the alert with you for meltdowns and bites. Tell them how you are handling biting behavior, and ask for their help in reinforcing the response.
9. Give them something to bite on. Whether your child is actually teething or not, as your child learns not to bite, offer an object (such as a teething toy) to bite on if they feel overcome by the need to do so.

Dealing with biting can be stressful, but it is a phase. With consistent, firm, and calm responses, your child will eventually learn to express needs in other ways.

20 Healthy New Year’s Resolutions for Kids!

Posted by Danny Jensen in Gainesville Preschool, Preschool      No comments

Jan
2

The following New Year tips are from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). For additional re-sources from the American Academy of Pediatrics visit their website at www.aap.org.

Preschoolers

1. I will clean up my toys and put them where they belong.
2. I will brush my teeth twice a day, and wash my hands after going to the bathroom and before eating.
3. I won’t tease dogs or other pets – even friendly ones. I will avoid being bitten by keeping my fingers and face away from their mouths.

Kids, 5- to 12-years-old

1. I will drink milk and water three times each day, and limit soda and fruit drinks to once each day.
2. I will apply sunscreen before I go outdoors on bright sunny days. I will try to stay in the shade whenever possible and wear a hat and sunglasses, especially when I’m playing sports.
3. I will try to find a sport (like basketball or soccer) or an activity (like playing tag, jumping rope, dancing or riding my bike) that I like and do it at least three times a week!
4. I will always wear a helmet when bicycling.
5. I will wear my seat belt every time I get in a car. I’ll sit in the back seat and use a booster seat until I am tall enough to use a lap/shoulder seat belt.
6. I’ll be nice to other kids. I’ll be friendly to kids who need friends – like someone who is shy, or is new to my school
7. I’ll never give out personal information such as my name, home address, school name or telephone number on the Internet. Also, I’ll never send a picture of myself to someone I chat with on the computer without my parent’s permission.

Kids, 13-years-old and up

1. I will eat at least one fruit and one vegetable every day, and I will limit the amount of soda I drink to one glass daily.
2. I will take care of my body through physical activity and nutrition.
3. I will choose non-violent television shows and video games, and I will spend only one to two hours each day – at the most – on these activities.
4. I will help out in my community – through volunteering, working with community groups or by joining a group that helps people in need.
5. When I feel angry or stressed out, I will take a break and find constructive ways to deal with the stress, such as exercising, reading, writing in a journal or discussing my problem with a parent or friend.
6. When faced with a difficult decision, I will talk about my choices with an adult whom I can trust.
7. When I notice my friends are struggling or engaging in risky behaviors, I will talk with a trusted adult and attempt to find a way that I can help them.
8. I will be careful about whom I choose to date, and always treat the other person with respect and without coercion or violence. I will expect the same good behavior in return.
9. I will resist peer pressure to try drugs and alcohol.
10. I agree not to use a cell phone or text message while driving and to always use a seat belt.

American Academy of Pediatrics, 12/10